Thursday, June 11, 2015

just ate another dose of medicine- 20mg

supposedly this gets metabolized into a drug that has a longer half life. and then it is harder to get rid in your body. really makes a big diff when I eat it now compared to last time. last time when I was super unstable the effects of it couldn't be felt until 2 or 3 weeks later, but then still I was crying every day over things that didn't concern my relationship or what. 

now I'm too tired to think of those things. 
thank God today didn't have any of those challenges, no emotional kickbacks or things like that. I need to be mature and quick to learn on the job and then by the time I come back I need to start coding cuz data collection is coming. I really pray that church camp will totally change my heart and make it warm for God again, to make it tender and receptive to His word, because I'm sad to say that I've hardened my heart and always wanted to die, against His will. like I'm not happy then I should die, since I think living on this earth is a waste of time. but God hasn't planned for me to go yet, and  really should try I shine for Him on this earth. 

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